At what point in a new relationship do you introduce your intended to your game console? Could you ever date someone who sets limits on your gaming? Would you give up your family for one year in order to play video games? Do you put video games ahead of your career? Have you canceled a date in order to play more video games? These are some very invasive, bizarre questions, aren't they? As it turns out, these are some of the questions being asked by Sony in a new survey sent to select PlayStation owners. What possible use could the company have for this information? Kyle Hilliard of GamesRadar speculates.
Why does Sony want to know if I am willing to abandon my family for gaming? Am I going to receive an ultimatum soon? It's like one of those ridiculous scenario questions based around impossible circumstances, like “What would you wish for if you found a Genie?” or, “Would you kill a boat full of puppies to play Portal 2 early?” Sony also asks if you would be willing to give up trips to the gym in favor of playing video games. I think I can offer the general gamer consensus to that particular question without a survey.
Sony wants to know what year you experienced your first kiss. I think I may have figured this out. At least, this is the only reason I can come up with: Sony is working on a triple AAA dating sim and the marketing folks need to know what age group to market it to. Well of course it’s a long shot, but what other reason could Sony have for wanting to know exactly what year it was that you received your first kiss? What other legal reason, I mean?
The whole survey is just odd. It comes with the normal requisite questions about purchasing habits, and members of your household, but those questions are only in place to distract you from the personal questions about your love life. And then there are the multiple questions about the sacrifices you would be willing to make in regard to your Playstation 3.
What evil game are we playing, Sony? What's your endgame here? What possible use could you have for this kind of information? And can we see the results in aggregate format when you're done with them?
What do you think Sony is working on? Do you think the next Sony survey will ask how many sexual partners you have had in the last month to help them determine the number of women that should be present in the God of War: Ghost of Sparta sex sequence? I would say we’ll have to wait and see, but I’m guessing we may never know. Sony will probably treat the results of this survey as privileged information, and we, unfortunately, will never get to see the fancy charts and sure-to-be-thrilling Powerpoint presentation it’s sure to inspire. One thing is sure, though: Reading through this crazy question minefield makes us want to turn around and write up a survey for Sony to respond to in return.
Allow me to make a wild, out-of-left-field guess of my own as to what this is all about: Sony is working on some sort of online dating site for PlayStation owners. A Match.com or e-Harmony for the gaming crowd, perhaps. Stranger pet projects have been tried before, and the company has stated that they're always considering new perks for PlayStation Plus...