Suppose that for whatever reason Nintendo was only now getting around to releasing the original Super Mario Bros. Better late than never, right? Since it's a new 2010 game, it has to include some of the various add-ons that have been shoehorned into gaming this generation such as Facebook integration. Zack Hiwiller dares to imagine what the classic adventure would be like if it never shut up about Achievements, tutorials, and online store integration. It's the most annoying hypothetical thing I've ever seen and really makes me thankful that I was able to grow up in a gaming era where Facebook and online stores were just pipe dreams. We're becoming conditioned to accept these sorts of interruptions now, and while I'm strangely alright with Just Cause 2 asking for an additional $2 for extra weapons and vehicles or Uncharted 2: Among Thieves alerting my Twitter followers whenever I earn a Trophy, I would reject similar tampering if my old favorites were impacted. What can I say? I'm complex.