Hey, paisanos! It's the Super Mario Bros. Say-No-To-Drugs Public Service Announcement! I don't know which old UHF station had this clip of Captain Lou Albano collecting dust on a back room shelf, but someone out there recovered it and made it available for our baffled bemusement. As I hope you remember, Captain Lou portrayed Nintendo's heroic plumber on The Super Mario Bros. Super Show in 1989, and although he identifies himself here out of character, he is wearing the stylish Mario plumber cap as he talks very fast about how doing drugs will send you to hell.
So, there you have it. Mario says "Say No To Drugs!" Now, who wants a Super Mushroom? I think we're on the cusp of a new Internet meme in which beloved video game characters are juxtaposed with preachy safety messages. Seeing Mario tell kids they'll go to hell for doing drugs is right up there with Wario demanding that kids share their toys or Sonic the Hedgehog begging kids to slow down and obey the pedestrian rules. Let's get the villains in on the action too with Bowser shouting about the dangers of playing with fire and M. Bison explaining that it's not nice to hit people. Up next: the zombies of Resident Evil sing an educational song about equality and getting along with those different from you.