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Barnyard Tech Support

Link and pigsSpeaking of barnyard animals, allow me to share one of my favorite stories about providing technical support for terrible customers.  Like most of these kinds of tales posted on the Internet, I have no way of knowing if it's really true, but either way it makes for a horrifying story.  From the Calls From Hell section of Computer Stupidities, here is a truly hellish on-site tech support case:

The customer's house appeared to be in the middle of nowhere: there was nothing but barren land for miles in all directions. As [the technician] approached the house, he noticed a ring of cows, dogs, chickens, and pigs running loose and circling the house making an awful noise.  As he approached the house, he noticed a dead, half eaten animal near the front of the house. Later, he learned, whenever the customer needed to feed his dogs, he would step outside and shoot a calf.

Entering the house, the young technician noticed a very large pet door in the door. This was so the dogs and pigs could come and go as they pleased.  Inside the house was absolute filth. Mud and grime covered the floor and the walls, pigs lay on the couch, and dogs sat on the recliner chairs. The stench of filth was unbearable.

The customer took the technician to the back room, where the computer had been set up. A chicken was nesting on top of the monitor and droppings were running down the side.  It was too much. He ran, terrified out of his wits, and never looked back. Later the tech called me from his home, where he was still trying to wash the stench from his clothes. He hadn't been in our ex-customer's house for even five minutes, and his clothes were ruined.

It occurs to me that some people just aren't ready to handle the responsibility of computer ownership.  Or pet ownership, for that matter. 

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