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Weep For Humanity As Major League Eating Becomes A Game

Chef Kirby I try to keep an open mind about things, but sometimes news comes out that makes me just shake my head in bitter disappointment and general discontentment.  Here's a sample of that news now:

Video game publisher Mastiff announced today that they have acquired the Major League Eating (MLE) license for interactive platforms.  Major League Eating, which oversees all top eating events in the nation including the July Fourth hot dog-eating contest, counts among its members Takeru Kobayashi, the Japanese eating phenomenon, and American Joey Chestnut, current champion of the world. 

Major League Eating: The Game features the world's greatest gurgitory athletes competing across twelve different food types. Built much like a fighting game, MLE: The Game requires players to show brilliant on-screen eating; a mastery of offensive and defensive weapons including burps, belches, and mustard gas; and of course the technical mastery necessary to avoid emptying one's stomach in a vividly colored reversal of fortune.

No.  Just no.  Eating in video games is supposed to have a happy fun connotation.  Remember the joy we've had with hungry characters such as Pac-Man, Kirby, and Yoshi?  They eat to bring about positive results.  Eating just for the sake of cramming food in your undignified pie hole as quickly as possible doesn't do anything good for anyone.  Get this kind of lowbrow junk out of our industry.  Do not bring your evil here!