Liquid Mushroom Power
February 06, 2008
Everyone loves a solid licensed product. Companies pay a lot of money to surround an otherwise boring product with a high profile name and likeness. How else can one explain the two Nintendo-branded energy drinks, Power Up Energy Drink (featuring Mario) and Donkey Kong Jungle Juice (sporting the thrilla gorilla himself)? MTV's Tracey John guzzled both drinks to see if they really could power her up.
I opened the can and took a whiff; I gagged immediately. Power Up smelled and tasted very similar to Red Bull, which I admittedly hate. First, there was the bubble-gummy, Pepto-Bismol-y odor that I’ve come to associate with a case of indigestion or diarrhea. To boot, it also looked like watered-down Pepto. And the taste? It actually wasn’t as bad as it smelled; it was akin to carbonated Kool-Aid… with even more sugar. In terms of added energy, I wrote this paragraph in eight seconds. Though now I have a slight headache…
I learned as a child that branded food items aren't necessarily as delicious or powerful as the games that inspired them. I spent a decent chunk of my childhood eating Mario fruit snacks, drinking Mario soda, noshing on Mario ice cream sandwich bars, munching on Mario honey cookies, and crunching on Mario breakfast cereal and yet not once did I become a turtle-stomping princess-saving hero of the elementary school playground. Well, there was that one time in March of 1990, but that's gotta be just a coincidence.