You've been consuming mass quantities Wii Points ever since Nintendo launched the Virtual Console service, right?  You've been downloading each and every game that's gone through the pipeline, yes?  Even the less stellar stuff like Lunar Pool and Tennis?  I thought so.  And yet there's still one game for which you just cannot justify wasting 500 Wii Points.  You've been actively avoiding Donkey Kong Jr. Math for the Nintendo Entertainment System all this time.  You've been determined not to cross paths with the game that actually makes up the entirety of the Education category in the old NES genre catalog, but now your number is up.  Compendium of Useless Information contributor MNicolai has wasted money so you do not have to and as the first person to play Math in, well, ever, has offered up just what makes this particular "game" tick.

Not only does this game take the fun out of Donkey Kong Jr., it takes the fun out of math. And math was never much fun in the first place. Neither was DK Jr., if you want to be honest. This is how it breaks down: The stages are laid out like Donkey Kong Jr. but with numbers instead of fruit. You and a friend race to add, subtract, multiply or divide to get to the number Donkey Kong holds up. Unless your friends are smart and refuse to play with you, then the second player does nothing. Single player mode is just two player mode with one player. And the numbers are arranged in a haphazard fashion. I'm OK at math, and I had difficulty with some of the five digit puzzles because I had to wrestle with the controls to get to the numbers I wanted.

Well, that finally settles that.  Now, who will take one for the team and risk all to explain J.J. and Jeff for the TurboGrafx-16?

I've always been a part of the "just play games!" camp, but I have to admit that watching videos through my Nintendo Wii web browser is very useful.  I've been using Orb to watch my computer video files on my television and it's difficult to go back to squinting at the comparatively smaller computer monitor.  I don't need another DVR, and while I would use a Sony PlayStation 3 for Blu-Ray movies, I can't say that I'd do the same for HD-DVD if I had a Microsoft Xbox 360 and then had to buy the HD drive add-on to get access to the HD movies.  Yes, I think I'm ready to switch teams to "play media content" when it comes to game consoles.

I finally broke down and bought Portal over the weekend.  So far I'm very impressed with it, particularly about how the game is basically a first person problem solver game.  I can't remember the last time I've come across a game like this one.  I realize I'm a little late to the party on this one considering that the game was released three months ago, but my goodness it is an enjoyable experience.  So how about you?  Have you played Portal yet? 

For a decade now I've heard people praising Sega's NiGHTS for the Sega Saturn, and seeing as how I was exclusively a Nintendo booster during the original console wars, I never had the chance to see what all the fuss was about (a friend during those years was the Sega booster, so between the two of us we had access to all the best games, however he switched gears to Nintendo after the great 32X debacle; but I digress...).  Now my review of the sequel, NiGHTS: Journey Of Dreams for the Nintendo Wii, has been published over at AMN.

This new NiGHTS seems to have been designed with fans of the original Sega Saturn game in mind, and while that's a definite plus for longtime NiGHTS boosters, those of us who only just now stepped into the dream world run the risk of being left on the curb. A questionably-voiced introduction explains the basics of NiGHTS and his world, but there's little information presented on why NiGHTS needs to complete the missions assigned to him and his dreaming partner. One particular mission very early in the game left us stumped for far too long because the game did not adequately explain the task to be completed. Instead it gave a rushed Warioware-like order and then started the ticking clock. Original NiGHTS fans most likely know just what to do at this point, but newbies are nearly assured to suffer from confusion and frustration.

When the opportunity to review the new NiGHTS came up I jumped at the chance, largely because the gameplay intrigued me, but also because I thought there was value in a non-NiGHTS devotee taking a crack at the review.  It would be all too easy for someone who waited this long for a proper NiGHTS sequel to gush all over the place (this is the same reason why if Mother 3 ever gets a North American release you should be wary of reviews written by longtime Earthbound fans (including me!)).  In the end, NiGHTS didn't do much for me, although I'm glad that I played it.  Now I can check that box on my list of popular games and gameplay styles that I missed back in the old days.

Super Smash Bros. Brawl for the Nintendo Wii is growing ever so close to release, but as expected the game won't appear in all the regions at the same time.  Japan will get it first, then North America, followed by Europe, Australia, and so on.  As we all know, the Smash games always have some special secrets locked away.  We're all expecting to find some unannounced characters hiding deep inside the game somewhere.  Personally, I like the thrill of stumbling upon these secrets for myself.  As soon as the Japanese version of the game reaches eager players, however, I fully expect information about these secrets to appear online, thereby spoiling the experience of discovering the presence of [insert favorite unannounced character here].  So how do we keep the secrets a secret until all regions have the game available?   I believe I have a solution.

I've spent a lot of time in hospitals over the years and one thing for which I've always been grateful (besides pain medication) has been the presence of a video game console at my bedside.  Initially only available in the pediatric ward, consoles are finally starting to pop up on floors with adult patients.  A new custom Microsoft Xbox 360 console is in the works that's just for hospital patients that offers medical information in addition to gaming, and frankly it's about time someone stepped up to fill this need.  GamePolitics has the story.

Enter the Cerner Care Console, basically a bedside Xbox 360 that allows patients to communicate with their physicians, check their treatment schedule, and yes, even watch movies and play games to pass the time. Demo’d at this week’s Consumer Electronics Show in Las Vegas, the project is a collaboration between Cerner, Spectrum Health, and Microsoft, and is aimed at improving the hospital experience by letting patients take a more active role in their care.

I can't say enough positive things about having games available in the hospital.  As a seriously ill kid I used to put in some major time with the local hospital's Super NES between visits from the doctor or nurses.  I spent most of a stay in 1994 with Star Fox, Taz-Mania, and The Legend of the Mystical Ninja.  As an adult I've had to bring in my own portable gaming systems during a hospital stay which, while nice, just isn't the same as the full-fledged console experience.  I'd like to see this Xbox pilot program succeed, although I can't help but think that the term "red ring of death" takes on a whole new meaning in a medical setting.

Back in the early 1990s there was a wave of Sonic the Hedgehog wannabes unleashed upon the 16-bit generation of gaming consoles.  Sunsoft had Aero the Acrobat, Tradewest had Plok, and Accolade had Bubsy, a wisecracking bobcat equipped only with quips, a white t-shirt, and a floaty pounce attack.  It wasn't enough just to star in a video game, however.  Oh no, companies that wanted a successful platformer mascot had to leap into the fray with both feet in an attempt to force the new character into the national consciousness.  Considering that animated shows starring major gaming heroes such as Mario and Sonic the Hedgehog had fared decently enough, it was only natural for new characters to attempt to break into animation as well.

Bubsy was one of the characters to try to land a Saturday morning cartoon series, and although a pilot episode was created by animation studio Calico Productions, it would seem that there were no networks or syndicators interested in acquiring the aspiring series.  The single episode of Bubsy aired in syndication as a one-time special back in 1993. 

When gamers had their first real look at the Nintendo Wii's innovative controller one of the first qualms I heard from the peanut gallery was that it seemed so un-nextgen of the Wii remote to link up to secondary controllers via a cord.  Why does the nunchuck have to have a wire?  Can't it be wireless as well?  Peripheral producer Nyko believes so, as the company is about to debut a wireless nunchuck.

Nyko's peripheral has a dongle that attaches to the Wii Remote and allows their nunchuck to function. Housed inside the piece of plastic are similar buttons, a joystick, accelerometers for motion and two AAA batteries. Expected to release this quarter, the peripheral will be going for a reported $29.99.

Is the cord really that much of a hassle?  After a little more than a year playing Wii games I can't say that the cord has ever been in my way.  I don't feel that it's ever held back my gaming skills.  So why go wireless?  Wouldn't that $30 be better spent on a new game?  Then again, we're talking about Nyko here.  This is the company that developed the wireless sensor bar for the Wii, something that I find even more unnecessary than the wireless nunchuck.  Is anyone out there frothing at the idea of getting one of these?

One of the many great things about Nintendo's Earthbound for the Super NES has to be the wide variety of wacky enemies that roam the land.  It's not uncommon to wander around Eagleland and stumble across a Bionic Kraken, a Slimy Little Pile, or a Plague Rat of Doom.  It should therefore stand to reason that the so-far-Japan-only sequel, Mother 3, contains more crazy foes.  I was checking out some of the screenshots posted at the unofficial Mother 3 translation project website and came across what has to be the best example of warped Earthbound enemy design yet: the Cattlesnake.  Aside from having an awesome name, the Cattlesnake also has a cheerful grin which is something that a lot of Mother 3 characters seem to have in common.  You just gotta love Cattlesnake (and it's staring this way!).  Mother 3 translated into English just cannot come soon enough.  I look forward to meeting the Cattlesnake in battle and turning it into both steaks and a nice wallet. 

I like the idea behind rhythm/dance video games, but my problem has been finding games that feature music that I enjoy.  I'm not a hard rock fan, not a rap fan, can't stand grunge, and can do without country.  I tend to gravitate towards music from the 1980s with a major emphasis on artists such as Billy Joel, Huey Lewis, Phil Collins, and Elton John.  Obviously with musical tastes like mine I have no hope of fully enjoying Rock Band or Guitar Hero.  Until now I've been left to mostly ignore rhythm games because it's so darn hard to find a game that features my favorite songs, but now MTV has made it much easier to find musical games that include the good stuff.  It's the Rhythm Game Track Finder!  Here's what MTV's Stephen Totilo has to say about the site:

Basically it's a search engine for more than two dozen major rhythm games, including all versions of Guitar Hero and Rock Band. It's designed for users to input the name of a band and song and to find out which rhythm games include them. You can also pull up full track-lists for any of the rhythm games. Included on that list will be master/cover info for any song in the game and notations on which songs are download only or exclusive to a given platform.

Now so far my favorite songs are limited to the Singstar karaoke games, but I'm still holding out hope for the day that I get to rock out to "Back In Time" and "The Wasteland" with some sort of piano controller.  When that time comes I'm sure that the track finder will let me know.

Whenever a new game console prepares to launch it's customary and expected to be excited about the launch titles.  Hurry, we have to preorder The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess and Perfect Dark Zero!  When a beloved console nears the end of its life cycle, however, the final releases tend to pass without notice.  What was the final Super NES game to be released?  How did the Sony PlayStation retire?  What was the last title to arrive at the Sega Saturn funeral?  Fear not, for there is a list that keeps track of these sorts of things.

A console manufacturer starts hinting that they're working on a new system. There aren't any final specifications, release dates, or even potential names, just hints that something is coming. Game publishers who have good ideas in an early development stage hold-off until they know more. The selection for existing systems starts to grow thinner. The console manufacturer makes a grand announcement about their upcoming system, last call. The publishers work overtime to produce games for it. Projects already underway for existing systems get reassigned to the B, or even C, team. They're far enough along that scrapping or porting them wouldn't be worthwhile. Some are rushed out the door like the frenzy of last minute drinkers. Others sit in a stool, nursing their drink until the bitter end, closing time.

This article is a tribute to those games that were the final lonely patron of a once festive tavern on a Saturday night. While another three-way console war is reaching the height of its fury, let's reflect on the final days of systems past. Maybe we can even learn how these now hot consoles may spend their inevitable last days.

While looking at the list I was surprised at how many of these games I don't actually own.  I was always quick to move up to the next model in the Nintendo family line, meaning that I was already playing Donkey Kong Country when Wario's Woods brought down the curtain on the Nintendo Entertainment System.  I missed some solid classics by moving on so quickly.  If only there were a way to play those old overlooked games after all these years.  Alas, the chance may be lost forever.

(via NeoGAF)