Ever notice how some of the most popular video games of all time have absurd plots? I noted this back in November 2005, but Cracked.com has just reached the conclusion and to celebrate has created a list of twelve of the most ridiculous gaming stories of all time such as the tales behind Mega Man and Super Mario Bros.
The Premise: An Italian plumber travels through a brightly-colored fantasy world collecting coins and mushrooms. He crushes turtles and goombas (essentially brown, waddling monstrosities) to death in order to rescue a princess from being raped by a dinosaur who pilots an airship.
What Made It Ridiculous: It was enough that mushrooms made you big and flowers made you shoot fireballs from your hands. By the time they added in a raccoon suit, a mechanical boot, and a dinosaur mount, it was pretty much anything goes. At that point, a mug power-up that gives you a rake that turns you invisible would have fit in fairly easily.
Why We Didn't Care: We were too busy cursing at the screen each time we found out the Princess was in a different goddamned castle.
A few of my favorite absurdities that didn't make the list include a bobcat clad in a white punctuation-bedecked t-shirt must stop invading aliens from stealing all of Earth's yarn; an odd little fellow made of gloves, boots, a sweater, and a hat must defend his island from the invading fleas by recovering his missing flags; and a chimp travels to his tiger friend's island to help defeat the invading pig sorcerer via kart racing. Recognize those?
Answers: Bubsy, Plok, and Diddy Kong Racing.