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Equal Time For Rumors

Resident Evil is now a Game Boy Advance exclusive Yesterday I railed against those baseless rumors that seem to thrive on the gaming world, but later in the day I started thinking about just why these rumors continue to exist in the first place.  Then it hit me: by definition, a rumor is a piece of information that may or may not be true.  Basically, gaming magazines and self-important forum posters can invent whatever tripe they want and as long as it's labeled as a rumor, it's technically accurate.  Rumors need not be true, right?  No wonder we see so many rumors in print.  Making them up is far easier than actually searching for news.

So, in an attempt to give equal time to rumors and since it's much easier to just invent facts than confirm them, I present to you several gaming rumors that I just made up have been circulating online lately.  Plus, now I don't have to do any real writing today, just like the big boys at most gaming magazines.

PTB Rumor Report For December 3, 2005

  • Nintendo is planning to kill off Samus Aran at the end of Metroid Prime 3.
  • The Game Boy Micro contains a secret expansion port that could be used to turn the unit into a cell phone.
  • The Sony PlayStation 3 has already shipped to stores, but they aren't allowed to sell it until Sony officially announces the price and release date for the console.  However, if you go pester the salesclerks about it, they'll probably sell you one anyway.
  • The original Microsoft Xbox can play the new Xbox 360 games if you open up the Xbox and flip a few switches.  Keep it a secret though, because Microsoft doesn't want anyone to know.
  • Effective immediately Capcom's Resident Evil series is a Game Boy Advance exclusive.
  • From now on all video game publications will investigate unlikely rumors and get confirmation before printing outrageous declarations for the sake of selling a few extra copies of next month's issue.