Maybe We Can Have Nice Things
Hungry For More

Viva La Revolution!

Nintendo Revolution controllerAccessories. That's the amazing secret behind the Nintendo Revolution.  Nintendo president Satoru Iwata presented the console and its new-fangled controller at the Tokyo Game Show and revealed what appears to be the first mainstream game console controller that arrives Some Assembly Required.  The main half of the controller is held in one hand while the various accessories are held in the other hand, such as an analog joystick or other such things.  The accessories are optional, too.  The main half can be used by itself.  IGN has put in some time with the prototype and here's what they have to say:

The main source of input is nothing short of unexpected and untraditional. It is essentially a wireless, square remote that works something like a computer mouse would in 3D space. Imagine sticking your hand into a virtual box and having your TV understand how it's moving in there. Now you're getting the idea.

Here's the thing: I don't get this.  I've read through the IGN article and other pieces and I just don't understand it.  How does it work?  How do I make Mario run and jump?  That's all I really want to know.  Tell me how I make Mario run and jump.  Articles are fond of using the example "imagine being able to swing the sword in Zelda", but that's not helping me.  Someone, anyone, tell me what buttons and control sticks I push to move Mario.

I've been pressing buttons and pushing control pads/sticks for nearly twenty years now and I just can't make the mental shift to this new controller at first glance.  I'm not passing judgment on it until I get the chance to try it, but I have to admit that my first impression is not "Hell yeah!" or "Hell no!", but "What the hell?"  Somehow I don't think I'm alone in that.

All I want is to make Mario run and jump.